Do I like being a counsellor?
I’ve always found it funny when people ask me whether I like being a counsellor. I think it’s because the word like has never resonated for me. Of course, there are days when I feel energized after a session, but, more of the time, the work is heavy. I sit with people in their suffering, and that can be hard. It reminds me of a quote I saw floating around on Instagram, something to the effect of, working with suffering and not expecting to feel pain is like swimming and not expecting to feel wet. The word that resonates more for me is meaningful. I find it deeply meaningful to do this work. It’s a privilege to be trusted and let in to someone’s pain. It’s a privilege to sit with a couple and hear their heartache and longing for reconnection. That sense of meaning is what keeps me motivated.
Do I have any regrets about deciding to become a counsellor?
No, I don’t. But, from the beginning I have approached this career as a marathon, not a sprint. I know that risks of vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue, so I’ve made intentional choices to protect my well-being. I have never done this work full-time. When I started this career, I worked three-quarters time in the Stopping the Violence counselling program at a community agency.
A couple years later, I began teaching college courses. This was a nice balance for a while; it allowed me to stay fresh in the field of psychology, and my students enjoyed hearing the stories of my clinical work. Eventually, though, I found myself juggling too much, working at the community agency, teaching, and seeing clients in private practice. One day I was challenged by one of my student’s questions. They asked whether most counsellors had a few jobs, concerned about the workload of this counselling field they were considering entering. I felt challenged by this question. I was working more than full-time and decided that something had to change. I was regularly speaking to my students about the importance of self-care and this felt hypocritical. At that time I left my position at the community agency and decided to focus on half-time teaching and half-time counselling.
A few years later, that balance stopped working too.
I would come home from a full day of counselling only to spend the evening preparing lessons or marking assignments. I knew this was not sustainable. So I stepped away from teaching and shifted into supervising graduate students, supporting and mentoring aspiring counsellors as they saw their very first clients. This is what my balance looks like now. The majority of my working time is spent counselling and the other portion is working with graduate students. I’ve been enjoying this balance for the past few years (and especially enjoying not having to mark assignments anymore :) ).
Over the past year, I’ve been thinking about what’s next. One thing I know is that I’m drawn to supporting new counsellors—those in their first few years of practice. If you’re curious about why clinical consultation has been so beneficial in my own work, you can read more about that here. And if you’re a new counsellor considering consultation with someone a bit further down the path, I would love to hear from you.